Holding on to Love

Memorial Service for Patrick Leonard

April 9, 2018
1 Corinthians 13

Holding on to Love

I didn’t have the honor or the privilege to know Patrick. From all accounts, he was loving and giving and generous. A true friend…like a brother.

And I know that he will be deeply missed by friends and family.

Death brings up all kinds of emotions for us…if we will let it

--feelings of sadness and grief.

--feelings of regret.

-- feelings of anger.

-- feelings of confusion.

We spend our whole lives in a culture that avoids meaningful engagement with death.

The culture idolizes youthfulness. We’re obsessed with millennials.

We have eye creams and lotions and hair color to make us look and feel younger—and umm, thanks, Dave for bringing me a stash of that stuff.

We promote diet and exercise as if they are the fountains of youth.

And we have built whole industries around care for the elderly that have the terrible reputation for not being any good at their task.

And if we let it, death begs big questions.

--Questions about the meaning of life

--What we are accomplishing

--What happens to us when we die.

These are the questions that make us anxious and bring out our insecurities about not being good enough or being lazy or undeserving.

They are questions we will never find answers for, but if we can put our anxieties and judgments aside, wrestling with them will make us better human beings.

They will help us grow.

But the only to put our anxieties and judgments aside is to invite those questions into our hearts with a spirit of love.

One of my all time favorite passages from the Bible is 1 Corinthians 13. The apostle Paul is writing to the Christian community in Corinth. And they are struggling with a lot of in-fighting.

There are these prima donna religious folks who think that they have It all figured out.

They can speak in tongues.

They can preach like nobody’s business.

They are full of wisdom and know the truth.

They are so dedicated that they would face death.

But the truth is that none of it means anything if they are not loving to one another.

They could have the best theology. Or be absolutely certain about right and wrong. Or think they have all the answers to the mysteries of faith. (I'm sure you've never met anyone like that!)

But it means nothing if they do not have love in their hearts.

I think Patrick got this. I think it’s why he was still Catholic. Even though the church fails—and fails big time. And not infrequently. At the heart of the message of the gospel is love.

Jesus came to bring healing to those who were sick and lost and lonely. To bring those in the margins…those not even on the page…back into the fold. To bring food to those who were hungry. And to bring love to a broken world.

And it was controversial. He disrupted the established power structure in the Roman Empire and the cozy relationship between the Empire and the religious authorities. (Hint: religious authorities are always getting it wrong.)

            And that is what got him killed.

Ali and Zade told me story after story about times that Patrick showed up with kind words and thoughtful gifts and rolled up sleeves to offer love to those around him.

And he built a family here in Northern Virginia with you all. And he welcomed anyone and everyone to be part of this family.

            This is a huge loss.

I hope you will honor Patrick’s memory by truly grieving his death even as you find joy in celebrating his life.

Even though our culture urges us to avoid pain and sadness. To just be happy all the time. I hope you will take a few moments here today to be sad.

To let the hard questions bubble up in your soul.

And I hope you will remember. Remember the good, the bad, and the ugly. And share it in word or on canvas today.

But know that you are not alone in it. You can be comforted in the knowledge that you are surrounded by this family that formed around him…

a family of people who are grieving and celebrating as well.

You are surrounded by the cloud of witnesses, so many queer folks who have gone before us.

And you have the Holy Spirit—Jesus own presence here with us who will accompany you along this journey of grief and big questions and celebration.

The beauty of this moment is that we are in the Easter season.

We are celebrating the risen Christ, the one who was killed shamefully and gruesomely by the state. And yet still he loved.

Even in our own collusion—intentional or unintentional—with a culture that tries to alienate us from our bodies, from our family, and from God,

God loves us still and draws us close.

The power of the loving God is greater even than the power of death.

We can be assured that in life and in death, we belong to God.

Thanks be to God. Amen.